I know! 3 posts in just as many days, madness! Anyway, just a brief post to say that I’ve got a lot of things planned out.Read More
5 months into 2019 and so far it’s been a weird one. I’ve lost my way countless times and gone into dark places but also there have been several glimpses of light too.Read More
A lot has changed in 17 years but not a day goes by I don't think about you Mum and how much I miss you. There are so many things I want to share with you, but can't. So many things I’ll never get to experience.Read More
It felt good getting out with the Canon again on Sunday. I’ve been concentrating on the Sony a lot recently I had started to forget my buttons for my other baby. Yes, my cameras are my babies.Read More
I recently moved the website over to Squarespace away from Wordpress. Squarespace seems a much better place for me. The website looks so much better, at least that’s what I think. This is the first post on this platform.Read More
For a photography blog, and site there is a considerable lack of photography going on. I always mean to post things as I go but never do so that leads to a photo dump.Read More
This is going to be another short post. Becoming a more regular thing that these posts are brief. I've found it's difficult to create a work/photography/blog balance recently, an issue I never thought I'd have. I mean I'm glad I have that issue now going from being unemployed for so long to now busy busy busy. It is difficult to find the motivation to create new blog posts and even go out to take some pictures. This is something I'll just have to work on, somehow.Read More
"I really should make a blog post". "...maybe I should write something". Both thoughts that have gone through my head alot since my last post. I keep saying to myself that I need to write something, the whole point of this blog was to get thoughts out and share my life. I haven't done that though. I'd say I'll do a better job but I think I know by now not to make promises, it's best just going with the flow.
I've been in a better mood recently, which sometimes, okay most times, leads to a dramatic down feeling. At the moment I'm waiting for that to happen. Anyway. With my better, good moods often comes a period of huge bursts of ideas.
I have all sorts of plans and ideas in my head but honestly, I have no clue how to go about actually doing most of them. I am determined to make photography work for me, I'd love for it to be my main source of income. My job. I don't know how to do that and it's getting to me. I wouldn't even know where to start with beginning a career. So, if anyone has any advice or knows anyone who would be able to help, that would be hugely welcome!
I keep meaning to create an online store to sell some prints but can never work out the best site to use/how to send them so give up trying. My main problem once again is confidence, I feel scared to try something for the worry of being laughed at and it not working at all. I wish I had the confidence, understanding and knowledge to do portrait photography. Maybe a course or something would be a good idea, who knows.
On a slightly different note, I went for a walk around Birkenhead Park recently. To end this rather confusing post/ramble, the next shots are from that walk mainly taken with the A6000. I will post again soon.
Whenever the weather changes I feel more irritable and down.Read More
Summer 2008. The start of it all.Read More
Everyone is entitled to an opinion......however there's a time and place to air it.Read More
Since the last post I'm feeling a little better. I'm getting through the latest low mood. I've been finding distractions and little ways to feel better.Read More
I feel like I've failed. I'm getting closer and closer to making the decision to stop doing the Project365. I can't see myself being able to do 365 days of photos anymore.
I've lost all motivation to take/edit a photo every day. In all honesty, the 365 challenge is doing the opposite of what I intended it to do. I had hoped the project would help me find enjoyment in photography again and would allow me to improve my mental health. As it stands right now, my photos are suffering and I'm feeling pretty self-conscious again.
Since my last post, "I'm not going out today", I've hit a bit of a turning point. I received some feedback and comments that spurred me on, that gave me a bit more confidence and passion. I made the conscious decision to not care as much.
10 years ago I would take the camera everywhere I went and snap away, coming home afterwards happy with whatever I had. Recently it's been quite the opposite. I'd go out, have an idea in my head and then be left deflated when that idea didn't come to fruition. As it stands, I'm constantly fighting with myself to do the opposite. To embrace what is already happening wherever I am. To be a photographer.
I'm not going out today. A phrase that I, and probably a lot more people than thought, use quite often when feeling anxious, or low. A phrase I should stop saying but that's just one part of the battle.
Periods of depression, being in the shadows, whilst devastating and debilitating can also be very productive. I've lost motivation for a huge amount of things over the past few months, but surprisingly, gained a lot too.
I'm often too hard on myself, I'm overly critical and more often than not hate my own work. However, this way of thinking while many see it as a bad thing, has helped force myself to get better. I feel like I've improved a few things that otherwise would still be lacking.
I'm still struggling to find motivation for the 365 Project. It feels like the urge to give up is there everyday now. I've found taking a fair amount of shots on one day then spreading them out has eased the pressure a little. Okay, it's cheating to an extent, it is a still a picture posted everyday though. Honestly, the way my head is at the minute, going out each day is the last thing I want to be doing. However good it may be for me.
I understand getting fresh air and walking is good for your mental health. Sometimes though, staying in and (attempting) to relax is also a good option. Sometimes even the thought of opening the door and bumping into whoever sends a shiver down my spine.
I've been quite quiet the past couple of weeks. My brain went into a bit of a shut down. However it has given me a lot of time to think, occasionally, too much.
Numerous times I've wanted to give up on the Project365. I've got this niggling feeling that won't go away. I feel like I'm not good enough, I have so many ideas and plans but none that seem plausible. It's so infuriating. At this point in time, doing the 365 isn't that enjoyable, however I am improving all be it slowly. I find that more often than not I lose motivation, or simply can't think of any photo ideas. I'm trying not to do shots of the same/similar places too often but that's not easy.
It dawned on me a while ago that I don't actually have any of my own work on display, at least not physically, it's all online or hidden away on the PC. However, I recently decided to start selling some of my images. The past few weeks I've received a fair bit of advice about the correct way to go about selling my prints, mounting and framing them. It's going to be a fairly big moment for me. I'm not entirely sure there is many people who actually want my work in their homes but I can hope.
I've always wanted to get my work out there and have it displayed properly. I need to start being more proud of what I've accomplished which will hopefully lead only to more. At the moment I'm awaiting various papers and colour correction samples to work out which I want to use. My mount kits should be arriving this week so maybe in the next few weeks I'll have the first few available to buy!
Some days I feel like I haven't got any better at photography, sometimes it feels like I've actually got worse, that I've not had any development. That is until I look back at older photographs and realise how bad they are.
Don't get me wrong, there are some good shots mixed in, some which I will always be proud of but on the whole they are awful. Looking back through both my Flickr page and my unpublished ones it really makes me cringe. I've been doing photography for around 10 years now, which in itself is hard to believe, but up until recently I've never really felt like a real photographer.Some days I feel like I haven't got any better at photography, sometimes it feels like I've actually got worse, that I've not had any development. That is until I look back at older photographs and realise how bad they are.
Don't get me wrong, there are some good shots mixed in, some which I will always be proud of but on the whole they are awful. Looking back through both my Flickr page and my unpublished ones it really makes me cringe. I've been doing photography for around 10 years now, which in itself is hard to believe, but up until recently I've never really felt like a real photographer.