I've been very quiet on here the past few weeks. I'm most definitely feeling better since my last post. A little break away in Oban helped, I was able to relax a bit and concentrate on producing some better quality pictures. Some of which I really love.Read More
Since the last post I'm feeling a little better. I'm getting through the latest low mood. I've been finding distractions and little ways to feel better.Read More
Drained and exhausted. Two words that sum up a depressive period. I've not been feeling too well the past few days which of course can have an effect on everything else. On top of that today I received some news which wasn't exactly welcome. Both of these things have brought about my most recent bout of depression and feeling drained.Read More
Nowadays we are surrounded by social media. Everywhere we look there are things pointing towards being online and active on various websites and apps. Whilst this can provide a positive outcome of feeling connected, social media can also have a negative impact on mental health.Read More
There's always one piece of advice that is given when related to mental health. Keep busy. Find a hobby.Read More
We completed the coastal walk on Sunday in order to fundraise for Wirral Mind, part of the Mind Charity focusing on mental health awareness and support.Read More
I feel like I've failed. I'm getting closer and closer to making the decision to stop doing the Project365. I can't see myself being able to do 365 days of photos anymore.
I've lost all motivation to take/edit a photo every day. In all honesty, the 365 challenge is doing the opposite of what I intended it to do. I had hoped the project would help me find enjoyment in photography again and would allow me to improve my mental health. As it stands right now, my photos are suffering and I'm feeling pretty self-conscious again.
I've been playing with my 50mm lens recently. I'd forgotten all about it and never really found any use for it. That was until I did a bit of reading. I've decided to take it with me when we do the Wirral Coastal Walk next month as it is so light and easy to use.
We went for a walk around Shotwick last week as the first practice run. I've never really done a post like this one so warning; lots of photos ahead!
On the 24th June 2018 I am going to be completing the 15 mile Wirral Coastal Walk. I am fundraising for Wirral Mind, part of Mind, a charity dedicated to mental health support and advice.Read More
I went to watch the Halton Spartans yesterday against the Chester Romans. Whilst it wasn't a great result I did make a start on learning a new photography technique. I've never done sport photography so it was a steep learning curve however I'm happy with the results.
Since my last post, "I'm not going out today", I've hit a bit of a turning point. I received some feedback and comments that spurred me on, that gave me a bit more confidence and passion. I made the conscious decision to not care as much.
10 years ago I would take the camera everywhere I went and snap away, coming home afterwards happy with whatever I had. Recently it's been quite the opposite. I'd go out, have an idea in my head and then be left deflated when that idea didn't come to fruition. As it stands, I'm constantly fighting with myself to do the opposite. To embrace what is already happening wherever I am. To be a photographer.
I'm not going out today. A phrase that I, and probably a lot more people than thought, use quite often when feeling anxious, or low. A phrase I should stop saying but that's just one part of the battle.
Periods of depression, being in the shadows, whilst devastating and debilitating can also be very productive. I've lost motivation for a huge amount of things over the past few months, but surprisingly, gained a lot too.
I'm often too hard on myself, I'm overly critical and more often than not hate my own work. However, this way of thinking while many see it as a bad thing, has helped force myself to get better. I feel like I've improved a few things that otherwise would still be lacking.
I'm still struggling to find motivation for the 365 Project. It feels like the urge to give up is there everyday now. I've found taking a fair amount of shots on one day then spreading them out has eased the pressure a little. Okay, it's cheating to an extent, it is a still a picture posted everyday though. Honestly, the way my head is at the minute, going out each day is the last thing I want to be doing. However good it may be for me.
I understand getting fresh air and walking is good for your mental health. Sometimes though, staying in and (attempting) to relax is also a good option. Sometimes even the thought of opening the door and bumping into whoever sends a shiver down my spine.
I've been quite quiet the past couple of weeks. My brain went into a bit of a shut down. However it has given me a lot of time to think, occasionally, too much.
Numerous times I've wanted to give up on the Project365. I've got this niggling feeling that won't go away. I feel like I'm not good enough, I have so many ideas and plans but none that seem plausible. It's so infuriating. At this point in time, doing the 365 isn't that enjoyable, however I am improving all be it slowly. I find that more often than not I lose motivation, or simply can't think of any photo ideas. I'm trying not to do shots of the same/similar places too often but that's not easy.
It dawned on me a while ago that I don't actually have any of my own work on display, at least not physically, it's all online or hidden away on the PC. However, I recently decided to start selling some of my images. The past few weeks I've received a fair bit of advice about the correct way to go about selling my prints, mounting and framing them. It's going to be a fairly big moment for me. I'm not entirely sure there is many people who actually want my work in their homes but I can hope.
I've always wanted to get my work out there and have it displayed properly. I need to start being more proud of what I've accomplished which will hopefully lead only to more. At the moment I'm awaiting various papers and colour correction samples to work out which I want to use. My mount kits should be arriving this week so maybe in the next few weeks I'll have the first few available to buy!
Some days I feel like I haven't got any better at photography, sometimes it feels like I've actually got worse, that I've not had any development. That is until I look back at older photographs and realise how bad they are.
Don't get me wrong, there are some good shots mixed in, some which I will always be proud of but on the whole they are awful. Looking back through both my Flickr page and my unpublished ones it really makes me cringe. I've been doing photography for around 10 years now, which in itself is hard to believe, but up until recently I've never really felt like a real photographer.Some days I feel like I haven't got any better at photography, sometimes it feels like I've actually got worse, that I've not had any development. That is until I look back at older photographs and realise how bad they are.
Don't get me wrong, there are some good shots mixed in, some which I will always be proud of but on the whole they are awful. Looking back through both my Flickr page and my unpublished ones it really makes me cringe. I've been doing photography for around 10 years now, which in itself is hard to believe, but up until recently I've never really felt like a real photographer.
Night photography is one of those things I've always wanted to master. I've tried multiple times, and failed pretty much every attempt. So I thought now would be the best time to improve when doing the Project365 challenge.
Strangely, it's somewhat working. Already in a month (and a bit) I've seen a improvement. I've stepped out of my comfort zone with my photography and played about with it a lot more.
So, I originally planned this post to be out yesterday, however it has taken a lot longer than planned to organise and write. Writing about my mental health always requires more time than I plan for.
Thursday 1st February 2018 marked Time to Talk day. Although, a day really isn't enough. It should be time to talk everyday. The following post is probably going to be my most personal and most difficult to write but it's an important one.
Firstly this is not my usual topic of choice for a blog and it may not be a pleasant idea for some people. However, it is an important one. This week is Cervical Cancer Prevention Week.
I put off having my Cervical Screening Test, otherwise known as the delightful smear test, for a year. The day I received my letter inviting me to go to my GP to have potentially the most embarrassing procedure done was not my idea of fun.