I feel like I’ve failed. I’m getting closer and closer to making the decision to stop doing the Project365. I can’t see myself being able to do 365 days of photos anymore.
I’ve lost all motivation to take/edit a photo every day. In all honesty, the 365 challenge is doing the opposite of what I intended it to do. I had hoped the project would help me find enjoyment in photography again and would allow me to improve my mental health. As it stands right now, my photos are suffering and I’m feeling pretty self-conscious again.
I’ve recently started working, which in itself is a huge thing. Earning my own money and feeling myself growing in confidence is a nice welcome change to the past few years. However, as expected, it is taking a lot of my time and energy. I don’t feel like I can fully commit to the 365 anymore. I definitely underestimated how much effort would be needed to produce a lot of high quality work constantly.
I’m in a better place mentally than at the start of the year. The first 6 months of 2018 has been a rollercoaster but overall better than the normal. I’ve waited a long time for some positivity in my life so I don’t feel comfortable in the risk of messing that up by pressuring myself. It’s important to focus on yourself sometimes.
Looking forwards, I need to keep going with my photography but with less pressure to produce something, in my opinion, good enough each day. I’ll probably repeat the challenge next year but as a 52 week thing instead. Now I need to reedit the site to include some better galleries of some of photographs that I’ve taken so far this year.