Taking Life With Some Ups and Downs
1 year has flown by, it’s so strange to imagine life any differently now though. So much has changed for us all and honestly, I don’t know where time has gone, but I know I wouldn’t change anything.
Mental Health and Being a Mum:Postnatal Depression
Anyone who tells you that parenthood is easy, is lying to you. It’s been a long, exhausting slog since my last post. My mental health isn’t great, but getting better. Fighting through postnatal depression and social anxiety at the same time isn’t fun.
Reaching the 4th development Wonder Week and survival on minimal sleep
It’s been a strange week with many ups and downs. Fatigue and stress go hand in hand which equals complete mental exhaustion. Right now I feel like I could probably sleep for years. Whereas it would seem Freddie is the complete opposite.
Mental Clearing and Clarity – Learning About Myself
It’s very strange when you realise you’ve been living a lie, and not being your true self for years. Sometimes though, you need to sit back, think and readjust. This is exactly what I’ve been doing for the past couple of months. I’ve spent a LOT of time just analysing myself and trying to work out who I am and who I want to be. I have recently started therapy again after having a bit of a slip backwards after the birth of Freddie and feeling quite overwhelmed. I find myself getting flustered and frustrated really easily which eventually leads…
Welcome to 2022 – The Year of Change
It’s been over a year since my last post and honestly, it’s ridiculous how much has changed. If you follow me on various social media platforms you will have seen more than likely but I miss writing my thoughts down here so…here we go. As of June this year, I am a Mum. The one thing I said I would never ever be. I literally always said I don’t want kids, never ever. Yet here we are. The best thing that has happened to me… I realised in mid 2021, probably not long after my last post, that this year…
Looking Back at Older Photos
The past few weeks I’ve been very very tired. I’m still waiting for blood results, and as it turns out, getting in touch with the doctors is near impossible. Absolutely useless. What with starting a new job and having to try and stay mentally strong my brain is exhausted. I’ve spent some time the past few days looking back at older photos of myself. A warning, this post may be a bit of trigger, I am talking about past suicidal thoughts and feelings. For well over 10 years now I have been fighting depression and anxiety, as documented. It recently…
It’s always darkest just before the light
(I wrote this post a few weeks ago…) As I wrote in my last blog post, I am struggling recently. I’m fighting through my latest depressive period. I don’t think this one has been my worst but nevertheless it’s still unsettling and frankly, exhausting. As I write this I am back in isolation as I’ve apparently been in contact with someone who has tested positive for Covid. No idea who though, I haven’t been out of the flat so no idea. I’m stuck inside until the 4th March. Obviously with more time to sit around and do nothing but think,…
Everlasting Exhaustion
I knew this week was going to be difficult, and I was right. I am mentally and physically drained. At the moment I’m not getting the best sleep. Last night I was plagued by nightmares, the same one I get around this time of the year. A horrible, graphic nightmare I just don’t need. Obviously with disturbed sleep comes tiredness and with tiredness comes irritability. I’m struggling to keep my brain from going into the usual overdrive. It’s a constant battle. I am fed up doing the same things day in, day out and with no change in sight. Every…
That Time Of Year Again
So it’s that time of year again when I lose all motivation and feel generally down. It must be February! Life It’s always the worst month for me, for obvious reasons. The 21st marks the 19th anniversary of Mum passing away, something that always plays on my mind heavily but more so around this time of year. It’s become the normality for my brain to kind of switch off through February, something I have tried to control but at this point. It’s part of me. Something I have come to accept…I’m just not happy throughout this month, simple as that…
Staring at the ceiling
To start, once again it’s been a while since the last post…So, whilst a considerable amount has stayed the same, there was one major change! The Big One Matt and me are now engaged! After 8 years together, we’re officially getting married in what will hopefully be an autumn wedding. Autumn is the best season anyway, so why not?! We went to have a look at a few venues before the second lockdown, to get an idea what we want and where. We’re looking at a smaller wedding…partially because we don’t know that many people, and partially because it just…